More Than I Can Take (Myself in Blue #4)

Expected publication: 2015


Cover Original (Back) Photograph: Giulia Marotta

Matthew Miller is pissed off with pretty much everybody. His girlfriend almost died in a weird drug-induced accident and her parents are sure it was all his fault. He’s not only banished from her life, but they say if he tries to contact her, they will call the police on him.

The same accident left him with a mild limp and some scars, but mostly, it wiped out his memory. He has no recollection of what happened, and is terrified that Stacy’s parents might be right: it may all be his fault.

His mother brings him back to his old house, to stay as far away from Stacy Horvath and her family as possible, and to recuperate. Not only he hates having to come back to the tiny town were he grew up with his mother, leaving his much more independent life style with his father in the other side of the country, he also regrets his current condition. He misses his friends and Stacy, has no idea how she is, his injuries hurt with the cold weather, he’s missing his first year of college, and has to go through uncountable hours of physical therapy. Alone, and without drugs.

The meager happiness he finds is when he sits on the lakeshore before dawn to see the sunrise. There he finds some peace, listening to the songs that made his and Stacy’s soundtrack. Trying to imagine ways to contact Stacy again, to be with her forever.

Enter Micaela Watkins. The weird girl he remembers from school, who only got weirder after he left. In her flat monotone, the girl he knew as Freakhontas explains that the lakeshore is her place, where she goes every morning to draw.

Too tired to fight, Matthew proposes they share the spot. For the next weeks, that unusual alliance will lead to unexpected revelations for both of them, about life, about love, about themselves.

Maybe it’s not more than he can take.
Maybe Matthew can find a way to get back on track, be with Stacy and love again.



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